Couple Overcomes Obstacles to Welcome 'Miracle Baby': Surrogate Mother Helped to Make a Dream Come True By Tali Israeli
Staff Writer : Tri-Town News, New Jersey, January 5, 2007
Shari and Glen Devora celebrated their son, Jacob's, first birthday on Dec. 21. After
a series of medical issues prevented Shari from becoming pregnant, the Devoras
were able to find a surrogate mother who helped to make their dream of having a
child come true.
It was 6:38 p.m. on Dec. 21, 2005 when the improbable happened to Shari and
Glen Devora. The couple had been trying to get pregnant since May 2002. Almost
three years later their son, Jacob "Coby" Benjamin Devora, was born.
Shari, 34, and Glen, 32, of Manalapan, encountered numerous obstacles on their
road to pregnancy, including Shari's diagnosis with endometrial cancer. Because
of the cancer Shari was unable to carry a baby and therefore Jacob had to be
carried and delivered by a surrogate mother.
In September 2003, after a year of trying on their own to get pregnant, the Devoras
made an appointment with Dr. Jeryl Natofsky, a fertility doctor at IVF (In Vitro
Fertilization) New Jersey, of Free-hold and Somerset.
For about nine months Shari tried intrauterine insemination (IUI), a process by
which sperm is deposited in a woman's uterus through artificial means, according
to a fertility Internet Web site.
The couple's first attempt at expanding their family was unsuccessful, but that was
just the beginning of the complications the two would have to face over the next few
years.
When Shari was tested during one of her IUI cycles, an abnormality in her uterus
was detected. A saline sonogram showed that Shari had a polyp in her uterus.
A polyp is an abnormal growth of tissue projecting from a mucous membrane,
according to Wikipedia.org. Polyps are commonly found in the colon, stomach,
nose, urinary bladder and uterus.
Because of the polyp Shari did not have enough room in her uterus to carry a baby
and therefore had to undergo surgery to have the polyp removed. After the surgery
was completed in the spring of 2004, the couple returned to the doctor's office for
what they thought would be a discussion on their next step to having a baby.
Shari and Glen were shocked to learn that Shari had endometrial cancer. Three
other doctors who gave her the same diagnosis were also surprised because Shari
did not fit the profile of the typical woman who is diagnosed with that type of cancer.
"I was sure something had to be wrong," Shari said.
Endometrial cancer, which is the fourth most common cancer found in American
women, is usually found in the lining of the uterus or endometrium, according to the
Internet Web site mayoclinic.com. Endometrial cancer most often occurs after the
reproductive years, in women between the ages of 60 and 70.
According to the Web site, if discovered early this slow-growing cancer is likely to
be confined to the uterus and surgically removing the uterus often eliminates the
cancer. About 40,000 American women are diagnosed with endometrial cancer
each year; about 7,000 women die from the cancer each year, according to the
Web site.
Unfortunately for Shari, who had been struggling to have a baby for two years, the
only way to get rid of the cancer was to have a radical hysterectomy, which is the
removal of the uterus and the ovaries.
"Not only did I have cancer, but I had to think about the fact that I couldn't have a
baby," she said. "I just thought this is impossible, how is this happening. I was
hysterical, just hysterical."
Shari said although she is usually a positive person, there were times during those
years when she asked why this had happened to her.
"On the outside I was very positive. At home I was crying and mad," she said.
Although a radical hysterectomy was the only solution to the cancer, Shari could
not get the idea of being a mother out of her mind.
Before having the hysterectomy, the Devoras decided to try and shrink the cancer
long enough for Shari to get pregnant. The process of shrinking the cancer
consisted of a three-month cycle during which Shari had to take four pills a day.
When the first cycle was unsuccessful Shari decided to try one more time. This time
she had to take 16 pills a day for three months.
Unfortunately the second cycle was not able to shrink the cancer enough for her to
carry a baby. When her doctor advised her not to do the cycle a third time, Shari
had her uterus removed in January 2005. However, she decided to wait until she
tried one cycle of in vitro fertilization (IVF) before having her ovaries removed.
IVF is a method of assisted reproduc-tion in which a man's sperm and a woman's
egg are combined in a laboratory dish where fertilization occurs, according to the
Web site emedicinehealth.com. Normally the resulting embryo is then transferred to
the woman's uterus to implant and develop naturally. Because Shari could not
carry a child, the Devoras decided to freeze the embryos and try having the baby
with a surrogate mother.
Shari said the IVF cycle included giving herself an injection in the stomach once a
day for two weeks.
"It's not foolproof, nobody guaranteed anything and I only had one shot," Shari said.
"We wanted to do everything I could (to have a baby) without endangering my life."
During the IVF cycle Shari had grown 23 eggs, however, only 11 became embryos
after combining them with Glen's sperm. The 11 embryos were kept out of the body
for five days before they were to be frozen.
In those five days the Devoras experienced what they call a miracle. What usually
takes about a year took Shari and Glen less than a week.
The process of finding a surrogate is complex and time consuming, Shari said. As
things turned out, however, Lisa Robinson, 36, of Georgia, who was ready to be a
surrogate for another couple, became available to carry Shari's and Glen's child
when the other couple backed out.
"Once you freeze your embryos your chances (of having a baby) are a lot less,"
Shari said about how great it was to find Robinson so soon. "It's such a weird story
and a miracle that this woman was available to us."
According to the Web site everythingsurrogacy.com, the process of having a
surrogate includes researching and choosing an attorney, agency and/or IVF
center; interviewing intended parents, surrogate mothers and/or egg donors;
choosing a match and completing all medical and psychology screening;
completing the surrogacy contract; beginning the medicated cycles and attempting
pregnancy; and completing all custody paperwork.
Shari said the first time she saw Robinson at the airport she thought, "I can't believe
you're going to do this for me."
Shari said Robinson has personal reasons for wanting to be a surrogate mother.
According to Shari, before Robinson had children her husband's aunt was
struggling to get pregnant and had asked Robinson to be her surrogate. Robinson
decided she wanted to have a family of her own before becoming a surrogate.
After Robinson had three children, her husband's aunt was no longer in a place
where she wanted to have children so Robinson sought out being a surrogate for
other couples.
Robinson had been a surrogate twice before meeting the Devoras; the first time
she had one baby and the second time she delivered twins.
"She's so wonderful, I can't tell you how I lucked out," Shari said.
In April 2005, Shari had her ovaries removed. That same day Robinson found out
she was pregnant with Shari's and Glen's baby.
"I had no eggs frozen and I was having my ovaries removed that day, there were no
more chances," Shari said.
In July the Devoras flew to Georgia to see the first sonogram and hear their baby's
heartbeat. During the pregnancy, Shari and Glen made six trips to Georgia to see
Robinson and their unborn child.
Two weeks before Jacob was born the couple flew to Georgia and rented a house
near where Robinson lived. Both Shari's and Glen's family stayed with them in
Georgia and were outside the door at the hospital when Jacob was born.
"I screamed out 'it's a boy' and everyone came running in," Shari said.
According to Shari, it was Robinson's first time carrying a baby that was genetically
both of the parents and the first time she was a surrogate for a couple who did not
have any other children.
"This was so precious to her because this was our only baby and it was ours," Shari
said. "I just want people to know that miracles happen and anything is possible."
Although the new mother said having her son was "truly unbelievable," she could
not help feeling a little upset that she had not been pregnant and did not give birth
to her own child.
Shari said she was so worried about how Robinson would feel when the baby was
born that she did not think about how she might feel.
Shari said she believes Robinson has more of a connection to her than she has to
Jacob.
"I think she felt the warmth and love from me and my family. I think it's the
relationship that she gets from the parents that she loves the most," she added.
After spending a week in Georgia with the newest addition to the Devora family, the
couple arrived home to another surprise, their friends had decorated and set up
Jacob's new room while they were away.
Shari, the co-owner of Dance Attitudes, Route 79, Marlboro, said about 600
families from the studio showered her with gifts.
"It was such an outpouring from this community. People were just so good to me,
I'm speechless," she said.
Shari said she decided to tell her story because there are so many people looking
to do this or those who are struggling with getting pregnant and do not know where
to start or what to do. She said the hardest part about the last few years was when
she did not know what direction to go in.
"As long as I was on the road toward something it didn't matter how long it took,"
Shari said. "If the surrogacy didn't work we were going to adopt. No matter how it
happened, I was going to be a mother."
Since this experience Shari and Glen have been very proactive about raising
money for the American Cancer Society. In June 2005 Dance Attitudes raised
about $4,000 at a recital. The studio also had team that participated in the
American Cancer Society's annual walk in Septem-ber 2006. The group raised
$10,000.
Shari is now two years cancer free and Jacob was 1 year old in December.
"I'm so lucky and blessed. Jacob is the best little boy. He's the happiest baby," she
said. "There's still a certain part of denial for me that this even happened. It's like I'm
telling a story about someone else."