Becoming a surrogate is a profound and selfless decision that can sometimes be challenging to explain to loved ones. At Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS), we understand the importance of having a strong support system throughout your surrogacy journey.
Here’s how you can effectively communicate your choice to be a surrogate to friends and family.
Understanding YOUR reason for pursuing surrogacy
Before explaining your decision to others, it’s crucial to be clear about your own motivations. Many women choose to be surrogates for deeply personal reasons, such as:
- The joy of helping others expand their families
- A love of being pregnant
- A desire to help others after watching a loved one struggle with fertility
- The fulfillment of making a positive impact on the world
- Financial benefits that can help their own families
Reflecting on these reasons can help you articulate your decision more confidently to others.
Starting the conversation
Ready to share your big news? Here are some tips for talking to your friends and family:
- Choose the right time and place for a calm, uninterrupted conversation—maybe over coffee or during a quiet walk.
- Remember that reactions might be all over the map. Some people might be thrilled; others might be worried. That’s okay!
- Share your personal motivations and how you came to this decision.
- Explain the surrogacy process briefly, emphasizing the medical and psychological screening involved to show them you’re in good hands.
Addressing common concerns
Your loved ones may have questions or worries. Here are some common concerns and how to address them:
“Won’t it be hard to give up the baby?”: Explain that as a gestational surrogate, you’re not genetically related to the child. Emphasize that you’re helping to build a family, not giving up your own baby.
“Is it safe?”: Discuss the thorough medical screening and ongoing care and support provided throughout the surrogacy journey.
“How will this affect your own family”?: Share how you’ve put a great deal of thought into this, talked it through as a family, and you have a solid support plan in place.
Educating your friends and family about surrogacy
Take this opportunity to educate the people in your life about surrogacy.
- Explain the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy. You can find some helpful, easy-to-understand information here and here.
- Discuss the legal and ethical aspects of surrogacy, especially in California, whose supportive surrogacy laws provide important protections for surrogates and intended parents. You can find more information about California surrogacy here.
Seeking support
Remember, it’s okay if not everyone understands right away. Focus on those who are supportive and consider sharing resources to help them learn more.
Our SPS blog is an excellent starting point, offering both comprehensive information about surrogacy and inspiring personal accounts. In our Storytellers series, you’ll find amazing stories from former SPS surrogates that can help your friends and family better understand the surrogacy journey. You can find some our Storytellers articles at the links below.
At SPS, we’re here to help support you every step of the way, including helping you navigate these important conversations. Remember, your decision to become a surrogate is a beautiful gift, and your loved ones will likely come to see it that way too.
Learn More About Becoming a Surrogate with Surrogate Parenting Services
Surrogate Parenting Services is proud to celebrate over 30 years of helping to bring dreams to life! Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy agency that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.
Do you want to become a surrogate? Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling (949) 363-9525.
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