When you work with a reputable surrogacy agency like SPS, a great deal of time is devoted to matching up intended parents with gestational surrogates based on a myriad of factors, like lifestyle, personality, and values. Most of our matching process actually takes place behind the scenes, as we speak with a lot of potential surrogates, often only a select few make it through our initial intake, interview, and psychological evaluation. And, even after a woman meets all the criteria to ensure she can have a healthy and safe pregnancy, we still create profiles of each one and spend time working out who would be the best parental match for this qualified surrogate. Despite all this, the day you meet the surrogate we’ve matched you with can feel monumental, especially if you’ve waited a while, and you’re sure to want to get to know her to make sure she’s the one. Here are a few tips to keep in mind on the big day.
Meeting your surrogate shouldn’t be stressful for anyone and nothing gets decided during the meeting. It’s only a chance for you to get to know each other. You’ll have time after the meeting to think things over and decide if you’re ready to go forward.
2) Think of Open-Ended Questions
The day you meet should be a friendly discussion, not an inquisition. You can, and should, think of some questions in advance that will help you get to know her better, but try to keep it on the lighter side. Some people liken it to a “first date.” You don’t need to woo her- she’s there because she already wants to be on your team, but lighthearted conversations are generally best. Remember, she’s already been through our intake process and a psychological evaluation before you meet and she’ll get a comprehensive exam from your physician before an arrangement is made, so those bases are covered. For ideas on topics you may want to discuss, check out our previous blog, “5 Simple Yet Revealing Questions to Ask Your Surrogate.”
3) Be Present and Mindful
Make sure your schedule is clear and that you can be free from distraction for the meeting. Most intended parents are really excited to get the ball rolling and this isn’t a problem, but the enthusiasm can also easily lead to exuberance- like Tigger has.
Are You Ready to Meet Your Surrogate Match?
At SPS, we do our best to see to all the details, so intended parents and surrogates have the support they need to make the journey a smooth one. This means that the day you meet the surrogate we’ve matched with you is likely to feel more like a happy reunion – or old friends meeting up – than anything else. In fact, we’ve helped bring hundreds of babies into the world and our matches often form lifelong bonds as a result of this process. If you’re considering starting the journey, but want to make sure your needs are seen to, contact us today.