There are a lot of surrogacy myths out there, and it can be complicated to sort fact from fiction. So, let’s have an honest discussion about how “the things you hear” contrast with the realities of surrogacy—because it’s important that you have accurate information as you make the best possible decisions for you and your family.
Surrogacy Myth #1: Surrogates are in it for the money.
Let’s deal with this terribly misguided and damaging myth up front. These surrogacy myths present in different ways—from the greedy surrogate looking for “easy money” to the desperate woman who is being taken advantage of. When working with a reputable surrogacy agency—like Surrogate Parenting Services—this is a terribly inaccurate view of the women who choose to become a surrogate.
There are countless reasons a woman decides to become a surrogate, and our team works hard to make sure the primary reasons are never financial. One (of the many) requirements to become a surrogate with our agency is financial security, which helps to ensure her motivations are coming from the right place.
Surrogacy Myth #2: Any woman can be a surrogate.
The truth is that only a small percentage of candidates will be eligible to become a surrogate—especially when working with an agency that prioritizes quality matches and successful journeys.
At Surrogate Parenting Services, our evaluation process looks at factors including (but not limited to) overall physical health, fertility-related health, mental health, lifestyle and travel history, family support, financial stability, criminal background, and motivations. We take pride in our extensive screening process because we believe it’s essential for protecting the surrogate, intended parent(s), and the future child.
Surrogacy Myth #3: Intended parents are rich people who just don’t want to be pregnant.
Sure … it may have happened that an otherwise able woman chose surrogacy because she didn’t want pregnancy to change her body, but that’s by no means common.
Most intended parents have survived a long, emotional journey with infertility and see surrogacy as their last chance to have a biologically related child. Some are same-sex couples who physically can’t carry a baby but desperately want to grow their families. There are endless reasons intended parents turn to surrogacy, but vanity is nearly never one of them. And, while surrogacy does require a substantial financial investment, it’s certainly not reserved for the rich and famous.
At Surrogate Parenting Services, our surrogates are interested in doing this because they genuinely want to help someone grow their family. We simply wouldn’t feel comfortable matching a surrogate with an intended parent who is motivated by convenience. The intended parents we work with are just as invested as our surrogates.
Surrogacy Myth #4: Surrogates are genetically related to the baby.
There are two types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. Traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate is both the egg donor and the surrogate, does result in a genetic relation between the surrogate and the baby—but today, this process has become much less common than gestational surrogacy.
With gestational surrogacy, the intended mother’s egg or a donor egg is fertilized with the intended father’s sperm or donor sperm, and the embryo is implanted in the surrogate’s uterus using in vitro fertilization (IVF). In this case, there is no genetic relation between the surrogate and the baby.
Surrogacy Myth #5: A surrogate can change her mind and keep the baby.
Surrogacy myths like this are untrue for many reasons. First, as we just discussed, gestational surrogacy has become incredibly more common than traditional surrogacy, which means there’s no biological relationship between the surrogate and the child—and no basis for claiming parental rights.
Second, regardless of genetic ties, both parties (and their attorneys) have agreed to legally binding agreements that lay out all the details, including a pre- or post-birth parentage order establishing parental rights. In many cases, the intended parents’ names will be placed on the birth certificate at the hospital.
Third, it’s incredibly rare for a surrogate to want to “keep” the baby. Surrogacy is a partnership. Surrogates and intended parents develop a close relationship over the course of the pregnancy, and surrogates are incredibly excited for the intended parents when the baby finally arrives.
We’ve been doing this for 30 years and have helped to bring more than 800 babies into this world … and this has never even been a question.
Learn More About the Truths Behind Common Surrogacy Myths with Surrogate Parenting Services
Surrogate Parenting Services is proud to celebrate 30 Years of helping to bring dreams to life! Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy program that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.
Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling (949) 363-9525.