Due to the personal experiences and emotions shared, the surrogacy journey often creates lifelong bonds between intended parents and gestational surrogates. This relationship forms naturally, as you share joyous milestones together, but sometimes you may want to find ways to connect more with your teammates. Here’s a look at four fun things you can do together while you’re waiting for the big day.
1) Have a Family Picnic to Celebrate the Surrogacy Journey
It’s a lot of fun to bring everyone together for a meal, plus it’s beneficial for both families to meet each other. On the one hand, the gestational mother’s children will get to meet the family that the baby will be living with. This helps them learn to associate him or her with that family, and they can better appreciate the special role their mother is playing. If the intended parents already have children, this also gives them the opportunity to “meet” their new sibling, which will help them adapt to changes better. Plus, all the grownups can visit and socialize, which is good for everyone.
2) Take a Spa Day
Let’s face it- being a mom is a joyous experience, but it’s also a lot of hard work. If you’re a surrogate, you’re taking care of your own children and growing a baby. If you’re an intended parent, you’re busy making arrangements and will soon be a whole lot busier. Take some time together to unwind together, whether it’s getting a massage or just a 20-minute pedi.
3) Go to Your Surrogacy Appointments Together
For most surrogacy teams, this one goes without saying, but it’s still worth mentioning. Even the uneventful initial visits can provide reassurance to everyone. Once you get into hearing the baby’s heartbeat and having ultrasounds, doctor appointments are absolutely magical. Do your best to work with each other’s schedules, so everyone who wants to be present for appointments can be.
4) Throw a Baby Shower
Even though this is a surrogacy, it’s still a pregnancy and you’re welcoming a baby into the world. It has taken a lot to get to this part of the journey and that deserves a celebration! Unlike traditional showers, there are no rules of etiquette to follow, so do what feels right for you. Whether you have a shower before or after baby arrives, regardless of what you put on the invitations, or what entertainment you plan, enjoy the moment together.
There is no wrong way to bond with your surrogacy team, as everyone has different personalities and interests. For some, it’s nice just to have a quiet meal on a lunch break from work. Others might like to go to the movies, see a concert at the park, or just do little things for the other parties to keep them involved and show them that they’re appreciated. Something as simple as a thank you note can go a long way. Take time whenever you can to share and enjoy the moments. The big day will be here sooner than you know it.