Becoming a surrogate mother, just like becoming a traditional mother, can be very emotional towards the end of pregnancy. After waiting for nine excruciating, hormone filled, long months, the time has almost arrived—however, some things still irk you. You should be feeling complete joy at this most special stage in your life, but because of the myths, wives’ tales and misconceptions surrounding the birthing process, you may feel some slight uneasiness.
Here are some you’ve probably heard before, and the reality behind them:
Myth #1: The way your water breaks probably won’t be as dramatic as in the movies.
Only 10 percent of women experience their water breaking on its own. The doctor usually breaks the water with a specialized instrument once you are admitted to the hospital—and it’s more of a trickle than waterfall.
Myth #2: C-sections are much less painful than vaginal births.
You can pay me now, or pay me later. That’s a good way to describe the two kinds of deliveries: vaginal and C-section—and both are very painful in their own right. The ‘pay me now’ is the vaginal birth; the ‘pay me later’ is the C-section, with all of its post-surgical discomfort. You may hear many women say they do after a C-section, but keep in mind that it is surgery—and a major abdominal one at that. There may be complications, with some pain.
Myth #3: “Good birthing hips” aren’t going to bail you out.
You may think that becoming a surrogate mother will be easy for you, because of your luscious curves. Love your em’ all you want, but really, your size has nothing to with the ease of your baby’s exit. The only one who is qualified enough to make that call is her obstetrician.
Myth #4: Castor oil, spicy food, and bumpy car rides are useless.
There is absolutely no good evidence that any of these actually gets labor moving… so sorry if you’re reading this past your due date. In reality, the most you will probably get is really bad heartburn or a stomach ache. Your baby will not be coaxed out with the promise of Texas Pete.
Myth #5: Your way or the highway is never the best birth strategy.
We know that you’ve planning becoming a surrogate for a while and you probably have every push and exhale marked on your daytime planner, but the truth is, birth just doesn’t work that way. Of course doctors and nurses will try their hardest to respect your wishes, but birth is unpredictable. When you enter the hospital you may not want an epidural, but by the time labor hits, your tune may change pretty quickly. Just remember that at the end of the day, all that matters is delivering a healthy baby.
Myth #6: You may not know you’re in labor.
This is another myth perpetuated by movies and television. Labor will be so undeniably intense, the woman will instinctively know to run to the nearest hospital. Well, not always. There is a chance you may not even notice when it started, because sometimes the contractions are so mild, they can’t be felt for hours or even days.
Myth #7: Doctors are not obsessed with episiotomies.
Episiotomies are small cuts made in the vaginal opening to reduce damage from excessive tearing—and they are by no means routine anymore. Today doctors usually wait until the baby is crowning to decide whether one is needed or not. Just in case, you may want to talk to your doctor ahead of time to make sure you both agree.
Myth #8: Practice does not make perfect—at least in this situation.
Your second and subsequent childbirths may be somewhat quicker, but as to whether they will be easier is up in the air. It really depends on the health of the baby, and yourself. Again, each pregnancy is different, and your second delivery could be harder than your first.
If you would like to schedule an appointment or have questions about our surrogacy program, please call Surrogate Parenting Services at (949) 363-9525.