The surrogacy process is a complicated to say the least. You may be currently learning all of the ins and outs that go along with it, considering the pros and cons, and deciphering the terminology. And while you may be think of yourself as somewhat knowledgeable on the subject, there are some important things about the surrogacy process that might not pop up in your next Google search. Here are the top things to avoid when planning a surrogacy:
Don’t fly solo. When you work with a surrogacy agency, it’s like getting the ultimate personal assistant. Every aspect of the surrogacy process—required screening, matching, medical procedures, and legal actions—are all taken care of and arranged for you. Most importantly, however, a surrogacy agency is there to make sure all of the legal aspects of surrogacy are in order, like safeguarding your parental rights and establishing parentage. This is incredibly important because the state where your surrogate lives dictates the legal action that needs to be taken. In fact, some arrangements require a pre- or post-birth order, while others only need a second-parent adoption.
Find an ethical agency. You should never work with a surrogacy agency that doesn’t adhere to ethical guidelines, which have been developed to assist physicians with clinical decisions regarding the care of their patients. These guidelines are also set up to protect appropriate payments, optimize screening processes, and so much more.
Be realistic. Try and accept that surrogacy and egg donation programs are affected by natural processes, meaning not everything can go as expected. Even highly trained doctors cannot flawlessly predict or control how a patient is going to respond to medication or whether a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer. Just take a deep breath, hope for the best, and expect the unexpected.
Choose an IVF clinic for the right reasons. There are many ways to go about finding a fertility clinic: basing your search on financial packages, location, success rates, or number of years’ experience performing surrogacy. Choose on the grounds that make you and your partner feel the most comfortable, and take it from there.
Get a little help from your friends. Ok, maybe you need more than a little help, but never underestimate the power of a support system. Lean on your spouse, friends, family, agency, and even your surrogate. Try to be as honest as you can and have open discussions with them. Also, a counselor might be a great option for those dealing with emotional issues, as they can help you work through challenges and the changes you may face.
You and your surrogate are a team. It is incredibly important to not overlook your relationship with your surrogate, which should begin by addressing expectations at the beginning of your journey. What level of communication are you comfortable with? Are you okay with Skype calls every day? How about doctors’ appointments and personal meetings? Considering these important factors can influence the experience you inevitably have in your surrogacy.
Remember to avoid assumptions when making a surrogacy arrangement. It’s best to take the advice of the professionals at a full-service surrogacy, like Surrogacy Parenting Services. To make an appointment or if you have questions regarding surrogacy, call us today at (949) 363-9525.