As a gestational surrogate, it’s natural that a lot of people are interested in your physical and emotional wellbeing – especially after you’ve become pregnant. And that’s how it should be! Even the easiest pregnancies are hard work, after all. That said, most intended parents have endured an incredibly emotional journey to get to this moment, and there are little things you can do to ensure they feel involved in the process, too.
These surrogacy tips are designed to help nurture the bond between you and your intended parent partners – and to make the journey even more enjoyable for all of you.
#1: Communicate Openly and Often
While this may sound overly simple, it’s the single most impactful action you can take to be a good partner (aside from taking care of the developing baby, of course). Keep in mind that intended parents surrender an immense amount of control over their baby’s in utero development. So, despite trusting you completely, it can be really difficult to not feel “in the loop,” so to speak. The more you communicate about the baby’s development and your health, the more they can relax.
Surrogacy Tips for Communicating: Get in the habit of sending regular updates – like how you’re feeling and what’s happening with the baby – even when nothing spectacular is going on. Even though it may feel silly letting them know everything’s pretty much the same, your update offers peace of mind to some very excited (and likely anxious) parents-to-be.
#2: Involve Them in Important Appointments
Your case manager accompanies you on all your milestone OB appointments – so between coordinating with her and key people in your surrogacy support system (like your spouse or best friend), it can be easy to forget to include the intended parents. But imagine how it would feel to be the last to hear your baby’s heartbeat, for example, even though you would have jumped through hoops to be there.
Surrogacy Tips for Including Intended Parents: Depending on where the intended parents live, there’s a range of options for including them in doctor’s appointments – such as inviting them to join you in-person, having them join you via video chat, or simply committing to follow-up calls right afterwards. Your case manager will help you all decide what would be best.
#3: Make Memories from Milestone Moments
By choosing surrogacy, intended parents are accepting that they won’t be able to experience many of the milestone moments of pregnancy in person. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help them experience those memories in some way.
Surrogacy Tips for Making Memories: Technology has made it so much easier to capture memorable moments – especially since many of us keep smart phones regularly within reach. Ask your doctor to record your sonograms, so the intended parents can hear the heartbeat. Film the baby kicking (or maybe one of your children reacting to the baby moving) or, if possible, plan to get together during a time when you expect the baby to be particularly active. Keep a journal of the things the baby likes, doesn’t like, or makes you crave. The opportunities are endless.
#4: Stay Organized with Finances
If you’re working with a reputable surrogacy agency, there shouldn’t be any ambiguity about how all aspects of the financial arrangement will be handled. Of course, intended parents are financially responsible for all of your medical bills during the journey, but you can be an immense help to the intended parents simply by working with your case manager!
Surrogacy Tips for Staying Organized: Don’t worry – you don’t have to be the one that organizes all the details, but you do play an important role in the process. As soon as you receive any medical bills, insurance documents, or other related information, send them to the agency. It may sound simple, but it has a major impact.
And, remember, your case manager will take the lead on financial conversations, so you and the intended parents can focus on the more joyful aspects of the journey.
Let’s Talk! We Want to Answer Your Questions and Share More Surrogacy Tips
Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy program that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.
Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling (949) 363-9525.