As you prepare for your Match Meeting, here are some tips for surrogates and intended parents that will help you feel more prepared—so you can embrace the excitement and let go of any anxiety you may feel.
It’s finally happening … you’ve received the call from Surrogate Parenting Services, and they believe they’ve found the perfect match. You probably have a flood of emotions—ranging from joy to excitement to anxiety (and everything in between). That’s perfectly natural.
Remember, one of the reasons you’ve chosen to work with a reputable surrogacy agency is that a great deal of care has been taken to get you to this point, and you’ll continue to be supported every step along the way.
In that light, here are some tips for surrogates and intended parents that we hope will help to calm those nerves and empower you to embrace the excitement that this upcoming meeting deserves.
“Match Meeting” Tips for Surrogates & Intended Parents
The goal of the match meeting is for a prospective surrogate and intended parent(s) to get to know each other on a more personal level, so you can both get a better sense of whether this is the right partnership for this amazing journey. Here are some considerations that will help you achieve that goal.
#1 – Take Time to Prepare
In the days leading up to the match meeting, take some time to reflect on the experiences that have led you to this moment, how you envision this partnership to be, and what matters most to you (and your partner, when applicable). The more in-touch you feel with your beliefs and circumstances, the more comfortable you’ll be discussing them.
At Surrogate Parenting Services, we make all the meeting arrangements, and our President, Cristie Montgomery, and your case manager will be there to make the introductions and lead the meeting—so don’t worry about those types of preparations.
#2 – Trust the Process
There’s a natural tendency to want to have all your questions answered and all the details sorted by the end of the match meeting—but it’s important to take a deep breath and release that expectation. This meeting is one step of a much greater process, and this shouldn’t feel like a job interview for either of you. Keep the match meeting goal in mind: you’re just getting to know each other at this stage.
#3 – Share Who You Are
The more you’re able to share about yourself, the more natural the conversation will feel. You’ll want to talk about who you are, what your interests are, how you came to make this decision, and what your hopes and expectations are for the process.
#4 – Listen and Engage
This is one of the most important tips for surrogates and intended parents: really listen. Part of our role during this meeting is to guide the discussion, so everyone gets the information they need while avoiding that “interview” feel. When both parties listen to and fully engage with each other, the conversation flows in a much more natural way—with questions (and answers to unasked questions) arising organically. Remember, this isn’t a one-sided decision, and both the surrogate and intended parent(s) need to choose each other in order to move forward.
#5 – Explore the Hard Topics
While you do want to keep the conversation generally light, it’s also important that a surrogate and the intended parent(s) hold similar views on the more difficult topics, such as multiples, selective reduction, and termination due to complications. Our team is there to guide this conversation, and both of you will be encouraged to listen without judgment. After all, this is solely about discovering whether your beliefs align—plain and simple.
#6 – Have Fun
Of all the tips for surrogates and intended parents, this is the most important. Have fun getting to know each other, and share in each other’s excitement. Remember, while there are a lot of details to navigate with surrogacy, you’re working together to create life and grow a family! What could be more joyful than that?
At Surrogate Parenting Services, We Guide You Through Every Step of Your Journey
Surrogate Parenting Services is proud to celebrate 30 Years of helping to bring dreams to life! Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy program that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.
Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling (949) 363-9525.