Becoming a surrogate mother is one of the most selfless and rewarding decisions a person can make. As a surrogate, you provide an incredible gift to an individual or a couple, helping make their dream a reality.
But of course, this is not a decision to take lightly. It’s important to be sure that surrogacy is the right choice for you and your family … and physically and emotionally prepared to make this commitment.
To help you determine if you’re ready to be a great surrogate mother, ask yourself the following nine questions.
1. Am I Physically Healthy Enough to Be a Surrogate Mother?
Even if your past pregnancies have been relatively easy, pregnancy is still physically demanding and it’s crucial that you’re physically prepared for the journey.
The physical requirements vary from agency to agency, but if you’ve carried previous pregnancies to term with no major complications, had rather easy pregnancies and deliveries, and have a healthy BMI, these are good signs that you’re healthy enough to be a surrogate.
Once you partner with a surrogacy agency, you’ll be guided through a medical screening process to help ensure surrogacy is safe for you and the baby you’ll carry.
2. Am I Emotionally Healthy Enough to Be a Surrogate Mother?
Surrogacy is a beautiful experience, but it can also be emotionally challenging at times. At Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS), prospective surrogates and their partners (if applicable) undergo a psychological screening to make sure they are prepared for the potential emotional difficulties of the process.
After partnering with us, our surrogates also attend monthly support group meetings led by a licensed mental health professional. These meetings not only help surrogates navigate the emotional ups and downs of the process, but they also provide a sense of community during their journey.
3. Are My Motivations Coming from the Right Place?
There are countless experiences that inspire women to become a surrogate. Maybe you know someone who loved being a surrogate or who grew their family with the help of a surrogate. Maybe you simply love being pregnant but feel as though your family is already complete. Maybe there’s a goal you’re trying to achieve and need help funding it. Your motivations are incredibly personal, and we’d never judge them.
That said, we want you to have the most positive experience possible as a surrogate, and we know from experience that altruistic motivations are much more powerful and sustainable than financial ones. Make sure you’re being honest with yourself about what’s inspiring you to consider this life-changing adventure.
4. Do I Meet the Agency’s Surrogacy Requirements?
Surrogacy agencies can vary significantly in their requirements for prospective surrogate mothers. Take care in choosing a reputable surrogacy agency because it will have a major impact on your experience and success as a surrogate mother.
To become a surrogate with SPS, you must:
- Have had one or more easy pregnancies and deliveries.
- Be between the ages of 21 and 40.
- Have at least one child of your own living with you.
- Be a non-smoker.
- Have reliable transportation.
- Be financially stable.
- Have a desire to help another in a special way.
5. Do I love being pregnant?
Most surrogates enjoyed their pregnancies, but their family is complete. Being a surrogate gives you the chance to feel that joy and wonder all over again. But this time, you’re passing along that joy to the intended parents.
6. Am I Ready to Commit to the Process?
A surrogacy journey lasts much longer than nine months—starting with fertility treatments and continuing after the birth. It’s important to really consider whether you’re able to make this kind of commitment right now.
From the doctor’s appointments to communicating with the intended parent(s) to answering questions from others in your life (and so much more), there is a lot of time, mental focus, physical energy, and emotional stability that will be required.
This journey is incredibly exciting and fulfilling for women who are able to give what’s needed without feeling burdened—but timing is everything.
7. Am I Financially Stable?
Although being a surrogate qualifies you for compensation, it’s important that you are financially stable before you begin your journey.
Surrogacy is a great way to meet a financial goal, like paying off debt, starting a college fund, buying a car, or putting a down payment on a home. However, the best candidates for surrogacy aren’t undertaking this journey solely for financial reasons; instead, compensation should be considered an added bonus to the many benefits of surrogacy.
8. Am I an Organized Person?
As a surrogate, you’ll have many responsibilities, including taking care of yourself, keeping medical appointments, and communicating with intended parents. It’s important to be able to keep track of these responsibilities—and balance them with your day-to-day obligations at work and home.
9. Do I Have the Support I’ll Need?
Having a surrogate support system is absolutely essential for a successful journey. Pregnancy is taxing under any circumstance, but as a surrogate mother, you’ll also be navigating fertility treatments, additional doctor’s appointments, and a natural range of emotions. Your support system helps to ease that burden and provides the emotional and practical support you’ll need.
At SPS, you’ll have a your case manager (who is always available to offer guidance, advocacy, or just an understanding ear), and the intended parents. You’ll also have a team of doctors and mental health professionals looking out for your wellbeing. In addition to this “built-in” support system, make sure you have a network of friends and family who are ready to provide both emotional and practical support.
Learn More About Becoming a Surrogate with Surrogate Parenting Services
Surrogate Parenting Services is proud to celebrate 30 Years of helping to bring dreams to life! Founded in 1990, Surrogate Parenting Services (SPS) is a full-service surrogacy program that offers both parties an exceptionally supportive environment throughout the surrogacy relationship. We’re passionate about creating ideal matches between surrogates and intended parents, so the journey is fulfilling for both sides and the future child is brought into this world in the best possible circumstances.
Learn more about our Surrogacy Program online or by calling (949) 363-9525.